Category Archives: Twists and Turns

Just Believe

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This morning—for the last few mornings, actually—I was thinking about all of the things I need.  I have tried to remember to trust in the Lord, but I’m human.  It’s a challenge to let go of things that bring me down.

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A rainbow always reminds me of God’s grace and power.

While I was in the shower, I was still pondering everything, but I remembered that God already knows what we need.  I took a moment to thank God for the hot water coming out of the tap.  Then I started thinking about all of the other things I rarely notice until we don’t have them.  It’s easy to take things for granted because (say it with me) we are human.  It’s our nature to worry and get worked up about things we simply can’t control.

I reminded myself that God knows.  He’s not limited by time, money or ability like we are.  He is perfect.  We are not, but we can strive for perfection and accept grace.  I will have to keep reminding myself of these things.  If and when I forget, I’m counting on you to remind me.

 

Slow Down!

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That’s what I keep telling myself.  I have to slow down, take a breath and relax from time to time.  Even when my body is at rest, my brain is racing.  I can’t be the only person who lies in bed just thinking for hours, can I?

Lately, my brain has been focused on growing my new business—making contacts, creating punch cards, ordering samples, etc.   When I hit on a great idea, I share it with my friends who are in the same line of work.  That’s the best part about my brain racing because I love to collaborate and brainstorm with friends.  Maybe that is how I relax.

 

Plan B

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I have recently started a new business venture to go along with my regular teaching job.  After teaching for sixteen years, I know that lessons don’t always go according to plan.  No matter how carefully we make plans, things happen and we have to improvise.  You other teachers definitely understand and can cite thousands of examples, I’m sure!

Anna, my coach/mentor/friend, and I had a great day yesterday and a Plan A for today.  A bit before nine this morning, she informed me that she had to cancel due to illness, so I was forced to wing it (or as some say “drop back and punt”).  Enter Plan B.

I was in a panic at first, but Anna sent me a message telling me to take it ten minutes at a time.  That was today’s mantra.  Guess what?  It worked out just fine!  I even made use of the down time to brainstorm for later.

Sometimes Plan B is meant to happen in spite of our best intentions.  The next time you have to drop back and punt, maybe the real lesson is that you need to learn to be flexible and respond to challenges in the moment.

The Cloak

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Today would have been the 59th birthday of the man I loved (and still do) with all of my heart.  He was killed a year ago a few days shy of his 58th birthday.  I have been in mourning since that day.  Other family members have felt the pain, too, but I can only tell my story.

I made a comment to my cousin tonight (thanks, Cheryl) about grieving.  I liken grief to a mantle or a cloak I was forced to put on.  For the first few days, it was stifling, oppressive and shocking.  The heaviness nearly suffocated me.  As months passed, it became more a part of my normal wardrobe.  That’s not to say wearing that cloak was ever something I wanted.

For a time, I was existing day to day, struggling to bear the heaviness.  I got through those days, weeks and months, but just surviving his loss was the hardest thing I ever had to do.  Ever.

Grief is a life-long process.  The sharpness of loss fades to become bearable, but that cloak is still settled firmly on my shoulders.  It doesn’t feel quite so heavy, but I still feel the weight.  It’s not something I can take off and don again. It’s there to stay, but maybe I’m strong enough to stand tall in spite of the cloak.

 

Make Me Over?

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I was watching Love, Lust or Run this weekend.  I enjoyed seeing the before and after photos, and I wish I could be one of the people who is made over.  I know my fashion sense is nearly nonexistent, but I know what I like.  I see magazines, and I know what’s “in style,” but most of it I would never wear.  For me, the bottom line is I want clothes that flatter my (fat) body style—I’m not sure those clothes exist!  The ladies who were made over were not the size of sinewy fashion models, but they looked nice in their new clothes.  Maybe there’s hope for me?

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It’s more about perception than reality sometimes.  For example, someone who has been heavy and lost weight still sees “heavy” in the mirror.  The heavy part is in the head even with a smaller body.  It reminds me of fun house mirrors.  🙂  Only it’s not so much fun….

For those of us who are still in heavy bodies, shopping can be so frustrating!  Maybe I should find out how to get on Love, Lust or Run.

http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/love-lust-run/

 

Wow!

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Dance class was interesting tonight, to say the least.  I showed up at the appointed time to discover that my CD (my beloved CD!) would not play on the library’s CD player.  I had already changed clothes at that point, but I ran out of the library wearing my leggings, exercise top and socks…yes, socks, no shoes.  I had to pick up my laptop to play the music for us.  I made it back in about three minutes right before the rain hit!

I expected maybe two ladies, but there were five of us!  Successful first meeting in my opinion!  I hope the ladies enjoyed class as much as I did.  It was so refreshing to have adult company at the end of a long school day.

Now I have homework of my own to prepare for next week’s class.  🙂  Practice makes perfect!

S-T-R-E-T-C-H

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After a really long, busy week, I am still looking forward to starting up a belly dance class this coming week.  I am very sure this class is going to kick my butt—hard.  I am equally sure it will be worth it!

I took belly dance lessons (Egyptian style) many years ago, but I have such happy memories from that class.  I still have my CD of songs we used for everything.  I can still picture our warm-up stretch routine when I hear that first song.  The bad thing is that I do not know—and have never known—the names of the songs on my CD.  The good thing is that I have a copy of that beloved CD even though the old one was damaged.

I’m so excited about the class that I even dug out my hip scarf!  It has been with me through every challenge I’ve faced over the last fifteen years (or more!).  I guess it means more to me than I ever imagined it could.  It symbolizes things I’m not sure I can name, but the immediate one that comes to mind is joy.

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More Training

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Firefighters always benefit from training, but so does the community.  The more efficient we are, the better our reactions in a real emergency.  For that reason, our fire department hosted an all-day training event Saturday.  Firefighters practiced SCBA skills, nozzles, search and rescue and live fire fighting.

I played a victim for search and rescue.  I felt a bit like I’d been typecast into the helpless female role, but I did get the chance to run back in to cause havoc.  🙂  Dan took this picture while I was waiting for rescue.

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Below are some guys practicing with the nozzles while the chief gives pointers.  Patterns are important when attacking fire.  Some situations call for the straight pattern while others need the fog with a wider spray.  This practice is needed because in an emergency situation, firemen wear heavy gear that includes thick gloves.  The clicks are different and depend on the type of nozzle used.  Practice minimizes errors.

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Love Thy Self!

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I had a super long, busy day today (firemen training, but more about that later!).  This may sound funny, but before I went to training, I used my new facial cleanser.  When I got to training, I had an “aha” moment: it made me feel cheerful knowing I’d done something for myself before starting my day even if nobody else knew.  My skin felt great!

Ladies, listen up!  Be nice to yourselves!  🙂  It sets a positive tone for the entire day.  Who doesn’t need that?