Is there a “friendtender” in your life? You probably have never heard the word. I hadn’t either until it popped into my head at four this morning as I was preparing for work. Even if you don’t know the word, you know what I’m talking about—a fake friend. A pretender…someone who says s/he is a friend to you, but actions prove otherwise. My daughter has at least one friendtender in her life. Just watching events unfold makes me angry.
Friendtenders are, by nature, sneaky. The real self only shows in certain circumstances—usually when they think they are unobserved. They can be charming, upbeat and smiling…until something great happens to someone who is supposedly a friend. That’s when the storm clouds take over. I’ve watched it happen. My daughter and one friendtender were just chatting happily one day when my daughter had something wonderful interrupt their chat. The friendtender and I listened as a guy asked my daughter to a dance. I took one look at the friendtender and saw the anger on her face. That’s when it hit home that this friendtender was furious. She was furious, and I was flabbergasted.
At any rate, friendtenders are like toxins. Cut all ties as quickly as possible because the “friendship” is going nowhere. If a “friend” has a mysterious mood swing (happy to indifferent or even nasty) every time something exciting happens in your life, that’s your first clue. Put some distance between you and the “friend” immediately. It only gets worse.